“All streams flow to the sea because it is lower than they are. Humility gives it its power.” –L. Tzu

“Start again. Start again.” This is the phrase of S.N. Goenka’s that I constantly have playing in the humdrum of my mind. When I first took the ten day Vipassana course in 2007, I had really no idea what I was getting myself into; I had signed up for a meditation course that my younger brother exhorted me to take, so I just went into it, head (definite pun intended) first. 🙂 It was a difficult and challenging time, but I managed to derive some discipline to help tame my mind.

At that time, I didn’t have a yoga practice, and it was interesting to dive deep into a meditation practice — looking back, it would have been nice to do it in the logical order — learning yoga (which prepares our body physically for extended periods of seated meditation) to allow for the nice transition into true meditation. What is meditation? It’s an awareness of this very present moment. Like Eckhart Tolle says, “Be Here Now,” embodies very simply the act of meditation. We can quickly figure out what our mental states reflect based on the content of our thoughts: if our thoughts are more past based (with a negative angle), we tend to lean more towards a depressed state; if our thoughts are more future focused (with a negative angle), we tend to lean towards an anxious state; and if our thoughts are more present here and now based, we tend to embody peace and calm. Next time you meet with another person, try to observe their energy and notice how you feel around him/her — depressed people tend to be sluggish, anxious people tend to have a lot of nervous energy, and calm people tend to be just that — content with the moment as it is.

One of my developing goals as a yoga teacher is to teach children meditation — I believe that violence of all kinds is borne in the mind, and if we can teach our little ones the practice of observation and letting go at an earlier age, it will lead to a more peaceful world.

This past year I decided that I would like to incorporate more spontaneity into my life. So I started with teaching — I thought that if I had a general idea of what I would like to teach my students, I could create, or we could co-create a practice, together. After all, life is a creation in process, and being attuned to and embracing improvisation, prepares us for living very presently, and riding all of life’s ups and downs with grace. So that I did!

I started this experiment about four months ago in a class that I teach to four tweens. They are lovely girls, and very excited to deepen their practice of yoga. I started going to the class with a general idea of what I’d like to teach, but no specific sequence or progression — I wanted to challenge myself to quickly think and act in a moment’s time to cater to their specific needs. I realize how important creative constraints are in life — in this particular example of teaching, I would introduce some warm up asanas, and then ask them what they had practiced during the week, and what they would like to work on in the class. Based on their responses, I would give myself 30 seconds to think of all the areas of their bodies and minds that needed to be receptive to openings to allow for the most authentic expressions of their asanas. And then, I co-created with them — it has been such a fun experiment full of giggles, rewinding, and even fast forwarding to more challenging poses.

About two weeks ago, one of the girls’ parents asked me to focus on helping the girls with their postures (specifically, slumping shoulders). During the ensuing class, I re-introduced Tadasana (Mountain Pose) and all of its alignment points, and had them walk in semi-straight lines in Tadasana. One of the girls said she felt like a zombie walking in this pose, so I coined it “zombie walking,” which later transmuted into “sophisticated zombie walking,” after I introduced the idea that an open and straight posture provides a perception of confidence. So these four girls were in giggles at their sophisticated zombie walking, and even started to incorporate zombie-like eye drooping and contorted mouths, ha!

In any case, today I checked in and asked them how their sophisticated zombie walking was going, and what they noticed, and several of them told me that they were more aware of when they slouched and that it takes practice to continue to maintain the alignment. Awareness is the first step, so I’m very happy that they are slowly incorporating these teachings! I continue to improvise with them, and they, as children, seem to be very open to it, as they are still young and in “wonder mode.”

While we did partner Navasana (boat) core exercises today, we again improvised in experiencing letting go of the partner hand hold (while still maintaining the partner foot connection) to see what free form Navasana crunches felt like — it was challenging but put everyone very much in the moment, as a very fine focus came into play while trying to work into this asana. It is this very improvisation that creates a focus-flow and feeling of being so very ALIVE! It is very special, and kids have a very unique ability to live in this space of the present moment, and experience it for everything that it is.

My most recent ex-boyfriend and I would take drives to random places in the Bay Area just to sing in the car.  We had our very own karaoke sessions — at first I was a bit taken aback, because when he’d pick me up, he’d blast some English or old school Hindi song, and then suddenly lower the volume, and tell me it’s my turn to sing.  I looked at him like he was crazy because only my shower and car were privy to my singing!  But he insisted, and started singing along with the man’s voice (he’d usually play duet songs), and then cue me to start singing along with the female’s voice.  It turned out to be so much fun and so liberating!  (We’d often take on and switch the male-female roles just for fun too.)

And that is when I realized how powerful song can be.  I was no longer not only expressing myself via spoken word or teaching a yoga or meditation class, but actually contriving certain vibrations via my vocal chords to elicit a certain healing, and as a result, this very easy joy.  And after our Beemer singing sessions, he’d provide a lot of positive reinforcement re: my voice, which really helped me to continue practicing in my own car.

I think the quality of one’s voice is so important as a yoga teacher — it sets the tone and general direction of a class, depending on what kind of class it is.  One’s voice also carries and conveys so many intangible characteristics such as the degree of humility, the depth of gentleness, the quality of compassion, the authenticity of one’s kindness.  This in turn, may or may not leave a student open to connecting with a teacher.  As for myself, I have tried to be more mindful of my own voice and its potential power in  serving others in their own alchemical processes. I’ve learned that projection is not so much about volume, but rather the authenticity that it can convey in safe, supportive, gentle, and compassionate ways.  Mantras and other sound healing tracks (check out Jonathan Goldman’s work — he is amazing) can really get to the core of any stuckness or gross sensations one may experience – see next post for more information!

I often ask myself, “What does my soul need at this very moment to grow?” during my morning and evening meditation sits. One morning, I received an answer of kundalini yoga! I have no idea where it came from (quite possibly my curiosity around how Sikhi has been adapted into yoga, and knowing that the breath contains my ability to release suffering and work with sankharas in my body).

Anyway, my friend and I signed up for a kundalini workshop taught by Seva Singh, a student of Yogi Bhajan, at Yoga Tree in Potrero Hill. I went in with no expectations and not really knowing anything about kundalini yoga. Seva Singh greeted me (I was actually early for a change) with a warm handshake and gave me a handout with all of the different mantras we would use.

We started the class doing the basic breath of fire exercise (think pumping your diaphragm) and slowly incorporated different asanas (such as sitting on our heels) and locks to work up through the various chakras. The basis of kundalini yoga is recognizing that there is energy that resides in our root, or close to the end of our spine, and that raising that energy up through the sacral, solar, heart, throat, third eye, and finally, crown chakra, allows for us to tap into our intuitive, natural selves. It is a very transformative process, as I experienced first hand.

We then incorporated SAT (truth) and NAAM as mantras that we would use on the inhale and exhale of the breath of fire. It felt quite nice and healing but then I realized that my raised arms were violently shaking! I tried to just observe the shaking, as I know that I am very sensitive and easily attuned to energy awakenings, so I waited and breathed through it. When we were instructed to lower our arms, I shook them all out. (After the class I asked Seva what that was all about and he mentioned that it was my nervous system being activated and that I can try to eat avocados to calm it down).

After every intense kriya (I didn’t realize how intense kundalini would be!) we rested in Savasana to let the energy rise up and disperse. Towards the end of the class while we were in Savasana, Seva struck a gong that was unlike any other gong I’ve heard before — this one took me to an intergalactic place, and suddenly I felt like I was Spock coasting on Enterprise. As I traveled through the darkness on Enterprise, I suddenly remembered that I was in a yoga class and that all of these alien like sounds were working on a cellular level to promote healing and optimal function.

As we came out of the Savasana, another classmate mentioned that she felt like the gong created a jarring alien invasion — another reminder that we have to accept things as they are and believe in their good intent. The assumption of good intent is so integral to any yoga practice.

It was an awesome workshop and I came out feeling so light, hyper, and happy!

About two weeks ago I attended the graduation ceremony of a SEED (South Asian Economic Empowerment and Development) course that a non-profit, Narika (which has been very near to my heart), holds three times every year for its clients. It was amazing to witness the sheer joy that current clients/survivors of domestic violence, as well as other members of the Bay Area community, displayed during the entire event.

Why was I in attendance? I taught one yoga class to this class a few weeks prior, and wanted to support the students in their commencement of a new path in their respective lives. I’ve always believed that true healing comes from a confluence of work with the psycho-emotional body, as well as the physical body; all are so inter-related, that to focus on one component to the detriment (or lack) of the other, isn’t very holistic at all.  A few years ago I taught a laughter yoga and breathing session to the  course students, and it was met with some reluctance that eventually transformed into joy!  It was fun to make funny faces and bring a little lightness to lives that may have held much gravitas and suffering.

Fast forward a few years, and I was asked by one of the Narika’s Board members to teach yoga to the participants — I was really excited and immediately said yes.  There are certain times in your life that your soul immediately leaps to saying “yes” and this was one of them.  I prepped a basic class of pranayama (breath is so integral when working with trauma) and beginner asanas, and when I arrived, I realized that we would be practicing outside!

We went outside to the park part of the school and I asked everyone to take off their shoes if the felt comfortable doing so; some did, some didn’t — again, it is about creating a safe and contained space. We started with several breathing exercises — practicing deep diaphragmatic breathing, alternate nostril breathing, lion’s breath, and the cooling Sitali breath (this is usually a favorite to release stress).

We then proceeded to cat, cow, downward facing dog, while experimenting with modifications — this was the most diverse class I’ve ever taught wrt age (prob mid 20s to 60s) as well as ethnicity, so it was fun to intersperse some English, Hindi, and even Spanish in the instruction! A little nervous laughter peppered the class, but it was something that I’ve learned to work with when introducing something new to someone.

Normalizing and reflecting potential uncomfortability while reminding them to breath through the difficult parts is all a part of therapeutic process — it’s always fun for me to bring in some of my clinical work into classes. After some more asanas we proceeded into a mindful body scan to observe all sensations in our physical bodies.

It was a fun class that I enjoyed teaching and hopefully allowed these amazing survivors an opportunity to create their own peace. I received a lot of great positive feedback and will be working more classes into the course, per the course coordinator’s request.